This year abroad thing is starting to become more and more real as I tick of more of the things that I’ve arranged, achieved, organised etc. It’s a change that is scary yet thrilling simultaneously. Almost like going on a roller coaster but not because you don’t know what’s going to happen in the middle. You’ll set off upwards okay, but you don’t know how many twists and turns you’re going to do, whether your life will be turned upside down or fall a sheer drop in seconds or fly through it fast and with exhilaration. And you know that there is a safe haven at the end: home.
To me, the most important lesson in life, is “home is where the heart is”. But what happens if your heart is stretched across (what seems like) too many? Home is where I feel comfortable, love the people I’m with and have a sense of belonging. This change from the norm to an adventure that sends me to various places makes me nervous that I won’t find home anywhere during my time away. Yes, I’m coming back to Wales and I’m going to Canada twice to see my parents. But will that make it home? Every time I’ll have to leave alone again. On a plane to the next destination. And I’m not good at saying goodbye. Even if it is only temporary. Coming back to the UK without my parents and brother in tow was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Standing at my Great Aunt’s funeral representing my own family the second. So why am I scared of an adventure? Surely it’s more positive than I’m making it out to be..
Truth is: I don’t know where home will be. What it will all mean. Therefore.. I just hope that any friend I say hello to and, more importantly, goodbye to along the way… Knows that they have helped the change, shown me how to be a better and stronger person. For that and more, I am so happy and grateful. (forgive the soppiness..)