*warning: this was written at 02:00hours following the consumption of a beverage or two.. and may contain overly emotional or cheesy parts. enjoy*
Many people probably have those “movie moments” where a certain song comes on when you’re driving in your car or got your headphones in. You may feel you can conquer the world, you’re having that epiphanic moment in a movie where everything makes sense, or you’re grieving for what you’ve lost. I’ve had a few of those recently. Imagine if our lives were movies, what soundtrack would we have?
Tonight was the University of Nottingham Graduation Ball. None of us expected fireworks but we got them. They were fantastic. It was a beautiful culmination of a whole group of students coming together to watch the same show. It doesn’t matter what we’ve studied, what we’ve done with our time at university nor what lays ahead now we’ve finished… More that we, as a collective, have done it. I met many faces in the crowd tonight that I haven’t seen in forever, or faces that I met on the first day that I moved into Lincoln Hall on campus. Each have their own meaning, each have their own adventure.
I’ve spent the past four years searching for something. I’ve never had a clue of what it is. Over these past few years I’ve made friendships that will last a lifetime, some that will last a day, and others that fit in between these extremes. I have a small crowd that I will adore for forever whom I lived with from the start. I have a crowd that I’ve shared my course with, Spanish side and Chinese side that have been hot and cold throughout this degree. I’ve almost torn my hair out over them but also had moments when I’ve thought that I’m accepted (and these were ecstatical if that’s a word). There are a few that I’ve met along the way and have stayed part of my life although I’ve been rubbish at keeping in contact with them. Yet I have no clue still of what I’ve searched for as part of this pursuit.
Long story short: I’ve realised that we’re all blessed with what we’ve got. My pursuit of happiness has been long and with many hurdles. It’s probably been the same for everyone. I remember my year abroad – particularly in Ningbo and it is the most amount of happy I’ve felt – and the two years of university that preceded it. I’m not done yet. I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m not. But thanks to a friend that has become dear (although he may admit to calling himself arrogant when I’d rather deem it as self confident), I know that this pursuit is for all of us. For me; it’s the people. And sat on the bus home from Grad Ball reminded me that I got them.
I’m crazy scared for the future. I don’t want tomorrow to come where I say goodbye to my housemates, goodbye to my Dave, goodbye to those who in ways they haven’t realised changed my life. All the memories from day one that have genuinely made this place my home are uncountable. Yet it’s time to graduate. Whatever comes our way is gonna be part of the next adventure.
this is it.
I feel like I’m the still frame of Will Smith walking down the road at the end of the movie with my pursuit for happiness found.
For now anyway!
Therefore, thank you. To every single soul that has made my life better, that has taught me things about life, myself and themselves, that has shown me both the bad and the good in everything, and most of all, made these four years the best years of all.
Through my tears and smile: I love you.